May be you can be discreet having an affair with another man? May be. But it wasn’t like that for me. I shamed Robert and exalted Saul. It was unbelievably cruel, unbelievably dirty.

The intimate dynamics of my sex life are well…a little complex. First, I am married to Robert, a sweet and intelligent man. Robert is a manager in public services. He earns a decent salary but he’s hardly wealthy. I am a personal assistant in a logistics and transport company. My salary is even less, but then that doesn’t matter so much. As you will learn, I am spoilt. Around four years ago I started dating a very handsome, a very direct and sensual man called Saul. I know, i know, married women shouldn’t date other men, but then Robert didn’t resist. Saul came on to me, asked for my mobile number and rang me. I remember that Robert and I were in a restaurant when Saul started chatting me up on the phone. He was very direct, extremely suggestive, indicating that may be Robert was the kind of guy who would put up with me having an affair. Most husbands had a shortfall some place and these days women were more discerning. He actually put it like that! Then he asked me to check with Robert whether he minded if I started going out with him! Yes, like that! It was so audacious, so assertive that giggling I asked. ‘Saul wants to know whether you will make a fuss if he dates me? (giggle).’ Robert looked crushed. I’d spoken about Saul, the oh so smooth dancer at a club I’d been to. I’d said how Karen wanted to date him but he only had eyes for me. I think that Robert knew I fancied him so rather that have something grow through subterfuge he said OK. It was a reluctant, a whipped OK. Saul overheard the answer, ‘there babe, like I said’ he laughed.

Robert asked endless questions the night I dressed to go out on my first date. Was Saul a black guy? He sounded like a black guy. I thought you have some insecurities darling! Still, I admitted that Saul was from mixed race background and he had the most alluring coffee coloured skin and affro hair. He’d admitted to being a ‘love child’, dad Caribbean (and I imagine very smooth) and his mum from leafy Surrey. Wesley (his dad) had fucked mummy and the husband had learned to cope. It must have been radical 25 years ago! Today, its much more accepted, the idea that a woman can have a lover as well as a husband. Its accepted that she has her own orgasm needs and that some of us need to be with different men in different ways. Husband’s cherish, may be even worship (LOL) and lovers, they fuck. Nasty as it sounds to some, that is the difference. Anyway, I didn’t want to become a bitch but I did want to see Saul. I wanted to explore where that might go, whether Robert and I coul change.

Saul bedded me. He bedded me on the first date, taking me back to his place and having me text Robert that I would be home around 10 am. The sex, well, it was explosive, so physical and so hard. There were moments when I thought I woul feint. His touch on my skin electrfied me. His cock was big and yes, he made me scream when he took me. I clung to him desperately as he occupied me, kissing my throat hard, pulling on my teats with his strong lips, thrusting, always thrusting with his cock. I came so hard on him. My whole body clenched, as though I had to somehow knot him into me, denying him any escape. I could feel his balls jerking against me as he emptied his semen inside me, no sheath, no questions. In the morning I was sore, awed by how he had made me feel in bed and certain that we would see each other again.

‘Make him lick you out when you get home’ Saul said calmly watching me pull my leather jeans back on. That seemed such a dirty and a cruel thing to do. Saul blinked. ‘Make him do it, he has to learn. I won’t have him fucking you, understood?’ I understood, somehow. May be it was something instinctual from a time before. I was going to be Saul’s now, his ‘bitch’. As he fucked me he swore that he would teach me to be his bitch, to live like a bitch. It had seemed so lusty, so life grabbing that I had orgasmed immediately. Now, now in the morning, it meant something very deliberate, very considered and very certain. I didn’t have to get rid of Robert, just as lomg as he didn’t compete with Saul for my pussy. Robert was to learn to lick me, either to clean me up after Saul had coupled me or to arouse me for his lovely black cock. it was a race heiarchy thing, an arrogant male thing. ‘Once he does that nice, you teach him to lick your rear bitch’ he growled. It was such a dirty thought! Such a wanton and wicked thought that I kissed him greedily and thought wow, so horny, so dirty! I didn’t imagine that it would happen, but i knew that I would demand it nonetheless.

I got home around 10.20 and must have looked as hard as nails, as content as a cat. I wore a pair of high heeled black over the knee boots and the leather trousers, a white blouse and a black biker jacket. I looked like a rock chick and of course my pussy was full. Rober gave me his wounded hound look and I told him not to ask, not to whine and not to play stupid. He knew what was going to happen if I dated Saul! He nodded so meekly. His face was drained white. He looked as though a vampire had used him. ‘Saul says you have to lick me out’ I said calmly. I said it flat, without emotion. It was a crazy crazy thing to say. Still, men read a lot, they watch a lot of porn. It didn’t phase Robert immediately. He broke down and cried later, privately, but right then he nodded again and unzipped my boots, before peeling down my leather jeans. My sex was a spermy mess! I stank of sex! I smelled of Saul’s body and that thrusting cock of his. Robert knelt and he started to first kiss and then lick my sex. I could hear him, slurp, slurp, slurp, a wet sound and feel his tongue running up between my labia, catching the goo spunk and ladling it back into his mouth. I watched him swallow it, taking something of our love making inside his body too. I took out my phone to take a pic for Saul. Robert looked up at me, shame written all over his face. ‘Lick’ I said firmly and he continued as I took a still or two and then the video clip.

‘You’re not allowed to fuck me…I’m too good for you’ I whispered as I filmed. It was a terribly raunchy feeling. Saying that and feeling the lap, lap, lap of his tongue. Robert licked open mouthed. He looked as though he had tumbled into a steamy hell. It was like all he could do was to act instinctively. I tried to imagine how the pics would make Saul feel. So arrogant, so proud, so confirmed in his views that some white men were easy to push aside. I turned around. I dared to demand it. Placing one foot up on the sofa, I grabbed Robert’s mane and pulled his wet mouth back against my bottom. He licked. HE LICKED! I couldn’ easily film that and in any case the sensation was delicious. Saul had taken me there and now Robert’s tongue was a sweet salve.

‘you lick where and when I say’ i sneered. My teeth were clenched. What a shock, i was climaxing again. I wanted this so much! i wanted to humiliate him. As I rubbed myself against his face, using him like a sheet of toilet tissue I was back there, with Saul, submitting to him. Feeling me climax shocked Robert. i know that it did! It shook him and he sat back, staring, staring as I said I would now take a shower.

Saul and I dated. At weekends I stayed at his place. It was like a trial abandonment of Robert. I terrified him. Saul said that I wasn’t to reason any of this with Robert, I was simply to demand and to humiliate. He was to learn to come to cunt, begging, hoping, for that and no more. I gained control of Robert very quickly indeed. Without an explanation, without much reassurance at all I taught him to worship me. It was strange. I would let him lick my sex and rub myself hard against his mouth, but what teased and aroused me was making him lick my bottom. It shamed him more, it denigrated him. I would sometimes return home, moist after dancing, fucking and demand Robert tongue between my cheeks. So terribly wanton and powerful too!

‘It’s going to get expensive’ I told him, rubbing back against his face, ‘ i want to look perfect for Saul and you will pay for that!’

So the PA was taken down to the jewellers and she accepted without a thank you the Cartier santos watch. She even demanded the matching one for her lover. We retired to the designer clothes shops, the upmarket lingerie emporiums and we lightened Robert’s saving account. There had been an inheritence sum, a large sum and I was taking it all. I watched Robert pay for the things. He didn’t flinch. He didn’t. May be it was what Saul’s cuck dad had done too. May be this was how it worked.