Tim
I couldn’t believe my luck, when Blaine and her little sister got on the bus, they sat right in front of me. That wasn’t the best part, but Blaine, she’s in 6 grade, and a lot farther along then some of the other girls. At least all the girls that ride my bus, but I had the seat to myself.
As usual, it’s not like nobody wants to sit with me, they just didn’t fill up all the seat yet, is all. So anyway, I heard her giggle. Blaine, I think, then Tanners asked “What’s so funny,” and then I heard a zipper.
“Look,” I peeked over the back of the seat, but she had her purse open, and her little sister reached inside.
“What is it?” Blaine held it shut.
“Don’t pull it out here!” She looked around, but I ducked down before she saw me, then listened in around the back of the seat. She whispered something, I couldn’t make out over everyone else talking, but I saw it.
Just the head, almost sticking out of the zipper, but it was so long, it must have been stuck in diagonally, corner to corner.
“So, that’s what they look like.” Tanner giggled.
“Sh! Keep your voice down.”
“Why,” she kept laughing, “You’re not supposed to bring that to school? Why did you bring it, instead of show me some other time, and where’d you get it anyways?”
“What’s with all the questions?”
“Well, why did you bring it to school, then?”
“Well, we’re not at school yet.”
“No, but we’ll be there shortly.”
“You’re not going to tattle on me, are you?”
“No, not if you tell me what you brought it for.”
“Huh, you know. In case I need it.”
“What for?” Then, the brakes squealed without and if I hadn’t had my back up to the seat, I would have probably fallen off, and hit it. With my head, no big deal because even if I did, it’s not that hard. I felt the poles in the back, but not the strings, and the green plastic was still stretched so tight, it was really like a trampoline.
I guess I was lucky it wasn’t one that was cracked, or torn, because if it was, then the cloth on the inside probably would have ripped, but she just said, “Shush. I’ll tell you later.”
Okay, but we’re not talking about any big mystery here. I mean, what could she possibly need it for, at school? Well, if she got horny, she couldn’t exactly go to the bathroom, and whip it out, to beat off, and get rid of a hardon.
That’s what boys do, but girls, they need toys or something to.
“Hey,” I grabbed Dashiel’s hand. “You can sit here.” I scooted over, and he looked up. Around the back of the bus, he must not have seen another seat he liked, but I was so excited, I just had to tell somebody, and oh yeah. Another thing was he was in 6 grade too, so. I was thinking, there was 2 of them, there both girls, and now there’s 2 of us.
2 boys, and 2 girls, even though Tanner was just in 4th grade, I figured if I played my cards right, maybe Blaine would take her top off for Dash.
“Dude, can you keep a secret?” I was about to burst, it was so exiting. “Come here.”
“You ain’t a fag, are you?”
“No, sh! Just keep your voice down, and listen.” I got close enough to whisper, and cupped my hands between my mouth, and his ear. ‘you know Blaine?’
“Yeah,” he shrugged, and did that thing with his head. I don’t know, black people do, like he was pointing with his chin, at the seat in front of us.
‘don’t tell anyone, but she’s got a dildo in her purse. i don’t want to get her in trouble but, if you think about it. maybe we can use it against her, and get a chance to make her take her top off.’
‘yeah?’ he grinned, white. He’s white, by the way, and he doesn’t even hang out with the black kids, but he listens to rap music, and wants everyone to call him D.
You know, as in The D? I don’t know how big it is, cause I’d never seen it, but it sure couldn’t be anywhere near as big as that thing in her purse. ‘she said she might use it, later on, and she showed it to her little sister. That’s when I saw it.’
‘so, let me get this straight, you mean to tell me she brought a sex toy to school, and showed it to her little sister?’
‘yeah.’
‘weel that just don’t make no sense. why’d she do that, when she can show it to her any time, at home?’
‘i don’t know?’ Then, the bus started stopping, then pulling up behind cars at the line out front. Then, it stopped again, and he got up, to look over the seat back. The bus started again, and he sat back down.
‘so that’s what that is? in her purse.’
‘yeah, it sure ain’t no lipstick.’
‘oh, now you wanna talk all hip-hop?’
‘no, never mind that. you in, or not?’
He rubbed his chin, then did something to his nose. I don’t know what that means, when black dudes, or white dudes that want to hang out with them, push in the sides of their nose, and sniff.
“Snh, yeah. All right, let’s try that.” I knew it, all I had to do was offer him a chance to see her topless, but then again. Now that I think about it, you know where that goes. Maybe she might even drop her panties, so she can use it, and you know where that goes. So, if we’re lucky, we might get to see her pussy too?
Finally, the cars stopped dropping kids off in front of us, and the bus could turn into the parking lot. I held Dash back, and said “Let them get off first.”
He laughed. “Pun intended?”
“Yeah,” I just got it. “So we can see where they go.”
“Well, what if they go in the girl room? I don’t wanna get busted in there, and reported. That’s how you end up on the sex offender list.”
“Oh yeah? You know any sex offenders?”
“Like you?”
“I’m not a sex offender.”
“Not yet, but you know what you talking about, here. It ain’t like asking you a girl out, or giving her a Valentine.”
“Yeah, Blackmail?” I laughed. “Pun intended, too bad you’re not really black.” He pushed me. “Hey, I’m just saying. That thing is pretty big, so you don’t want to disappoint her.”
“What you talking, like you even had a hair on it, in your whole entire life.”
“You do?”
“Don’t even think about it, and stop talking about my dick, homo.”
“Look.” I pointed. “If I was a homo, then I wouldn’t need you, to keep up with the girls.” I grabbed his arm.
“Get off me!”
“Don’t run after them. Jeeze, we don’t want it to look like we’re following them. We’re just going to hang out, around the corner, until the bell rings, right?”
“Yeah. Play it cool, right?”
“Yeah. Now shut up about it, before anybody hears us talking.”
“Oh yeah, you’re right.” I was just so excited. “Sorry.”
“Just shut up, and come on.”
He sure took over quick, though.
;
D (Bb)
All right, I’m only going to say this 1 time: Don’t even think about Cultural Appropriation, because that’s not what it is. Let me explain.
My poppa left my mom, so she had to bring me up, and work 2 jobs, just to afford rent in a shitty apartment. So, I’m not from the projects, but the apartments. They used to be a motel, but then that went out of business, and the city bought it, for low income housing.
HUD, the same people that built the Towers. That’s what they called them, Southwest Towers, and they put up all kinds of scucco around it, to make it look like adobe, like that would fool anybody. When anybody can see the cement sticking up out of the stucco, above the 3rd floor, because they ran out of scaffolding for the painters when they put it up.
I know this, because I watched them do it, but my momma wouldn’t let me near that place, because it was dangerous. The point is, I learned to talk ghetto, because that’s where I grew up. Just as soon as the apartments emptied out, so the families could move in to the Towers, but not us. We kept waiting, and waiting, until finally momma got approved, and she got mad.
“We’re going to stay right here,” she said, and then she got the key to the door next door. That was a sweet, without no kitchen, but I got to make it into my room, and finally move out of the same room with my momma. She got rid of the old beds, and bought a queen size, but I had 2 beds to chose from, until my little sister was born.
Light skinned, with frizzy hair from her daddy, so my half sister, you know what I’m saying? She’s in Pre-K, but already starting to talk like the other kids, from around the neighborhood. They turned the old office into a day care, so they could watch the kids there, while momma went to work.
All right, so that enough of a background, to tell you where I’m coming from? Ghetto ain’t black culture, it’s Poor culture, and I was the minority. Let me tell you, that ain’t easy growing up. Being the white boy, and getting your ass beat, so I learned what racism was like, from the neighborhood boys taking it out on me, until I growed up.
Then, this little kid. I don’t know, maybe he was 10, give or take a year, but he tells me they got a sex toy in their purse, and sure enough. They run off round the corner, so we played it cool. I put up the collar of my jacket, and it sure wasn’t too hard to play it cool, when the water had cracks, and ice on it this morning.
It was Febuary, all right? Almost Valentines Friday, and I had my eye on her, for like ever. Blaine, there was a rich girl name if I ever heard one, and her little sister Tanner, too. What kind of name is that for a girl, Tanner? That’s a job, and a last name, for some dude that tanned hides back in the day.
Or a doctor, Dr. Tanner, who made that chart they showed us in health class? You know the one, with drawings of boys, and girls. The stages of puberty, and if I had to guess. I’d say little tanner wasn’t even on it. Her sister, though. She had to be at least stage 3, and I’m not talking just up front. She had hips, and a waist, too. A fine ass booty, if you knew when to look.
She was so busy talking, and walking with her purse tucked up under her arm, but even if that was something like a big cop flashlight, or something. She wouldn’t hold it like that, and giggle. Trying to hide it, while her sister pulled the strap, and they practically fighting over it.
A big plastic dick, I swallowed, and stopped at the corner. Leaned back, on the walk, but played it cool. If I had a Kool, or a Newport, I wouldn’t have brung it, to school with me. I still had to wonder, what she doing with it, here, where she could get in all kinds of trouble, if anybody saw it, and snitched, but that’s what I call motivation.
Gotta wonder what she’d do, to keep her secret, and stay out of trouble. Feel me? I sure hoped so.
;
Tanner (gG)
Okay, I’m jealous. So? First she got bras, and nice panties do go with them. Then, she got on the pill, so she could have a boyfriend, and not get pregnant, but now she’s got a sex toy, to loosen up for him?
Well, that’s what Dildo is short for, she told me. Last night when she showed me it, and what it’s for. Dilating, a doctor would call it a dilator, instead of a dildo, that’s why it’s shaped like that. Skinny on 1 end, by the head, and then thicker, and thicker all the way out to the other end, where the fake balls are.
I tried it, but it wouldn’t fit, no matter how much spit we used, it was still too big. Even though the skinny end was only about the size of a penny? I guess, maybe a dime, I don’t know. We didn’t have any money to hold up, and see which one was as big around, but then she fit it in her slot. So, her lips almost closed again around it, then split wide open when she pushed it in deeper, and spread her wider, but then she got to the dry part again.
So, she pulled it out, and sucked on it some more. Then, she let me lick it, all the way around, but I went up to the part she had inside her. I was hoping I could taste it, but if it tasted any different, I couldn’t tell. I sure could smell her, though. She stank up the whole bathroom laying back in the tub, with her knees up on the sides, and spread wide open. Wider, and wider the deeper she went, but she stopped before she got all the way down, to the flat plastic balls, up against her bottom.
Then, she used her finger in the top, to rub circles around, and round, so that’s another thing she got way before me. It’s not fair, but I guess I got to see her, have an orgasm. I can’t wait, but first she got up, and pulled the shower curtain over, to wash herself off. She left the dilator out, where I could taste it, and this time, I think I tasted something on it. I don’t know, it tasted like she smelled, or maybe I just had enough of it in my nose to fool my tongue, but I got it as wet as I could, and stuck it all the way down my throat, until my teeth wouldn’t go any wider.
Then, I coughed up some real good spit, thick and slimy, to try again. With the flat end on the bathmat, and squatting so my whole weight might push me down hard enough to at least get the head in? No dice, but maybe if I keep at it. It’s never too early to start, even if I’m not on the pill yet, the good thing is that it won’t get me pregnant.
Then, I thought maybe if the boys caught us with it, as school. “What boys?” She asked when she was drying off, but I figured, if anybody I knew would go for it, it had to be “Tim!”
“You mean that creepy little Timmy?”
“Yeah, because he’s a pervert. Of course, he’s the one most likely to go for it. You know how he looks at you.”
“Not just me, but all the girls at school.”
“Well, all the older girls. He never looked at me like that.”
“Good, because it’s not cool, it’s creepy, and sick, you know that.”
“Yeah, because he’s a sex fiend. It has to be him, because he’s a sex fiend.”
“Yeah, but. Come on.” I followed her back to her room, where she put up her new present, and said “Don’t tell dad about this.” Again.
“I know, I won’t.”
“But I have to tell you, why you don’t want a boy like that. Boys like that, they’re like bullies, only instead of beating you up, like the 2nd grade boys, he’ll try to hurt your feelings. I know you think that you want it, but you don’t know, what he might do, and that’s why you can’t trust them. Boys like that, they don’t know when to quit, let alone how to take no for an answer.”
“Oh, so you’re raped by a boy like that?”
“No, sh!”
“That’s what you’re talking about right?”
“Yeah, but don’t say it out loud.”
“Why not?”
“Because dad’s home, this is his house, and you never know if he’s listening.”
“So what did he do, molest you?”
“No, ew. You know that if he doesn’t want me kissing, and making out with boys, there’s no way he’d try it with me, and I’m his daughter!”
“I know, me too, but you’re not telling me something. Was it another boy, or a man?”
“No, of course not.” She took a deep breath, and thought. Then rolled her eyes to cover it up, and shook her head. “I just have these friends. You know?”
“Of course, I know them. They’re my friends too, who was it?”
“Uh! I’m not going to tell you, I shouldn’t even be telling you any of this.”
“Yeah, but you don’t like keeping secrets, anyway.” She has more fun telling me, if nobody else, because I’m her sister.
“Well, then I won’t tell you their names, but you know that one in three girls is sexually assaulted, before the age of eighteen?”
“Yeah, they told me that too, in the same assembly, and we even had a quiz on it, later. How come they didn’t tell anyone else, like an adult? You know that’s what they’re supposed to do, so they can find them, and get them off the streets. Away from children?”
“Yeah, but, they didn’t even want to tell me, let alone their.”
“Mothers?” I guessed,because she started making an M with her mouth, before she bit her lip. Then she nodded. “Mhm?” She blushed, and looked away, but come on, Blaine. I’m not just some girl, or even one of your best friends, I’m your sister? I know when she’s telling the truth, and when she’s holding back, but that doesn’t tell me what the truth is. I have to try, and figure that out for myself, but when she said that she has friends.
That’s just like I have A friend, then she recited that statistic, to change the subject. Well, okay, she’s got more then 3 friends, a lot more if you count the ones that she doesn’t hang out with, but then again. If she got the secret of their sexual abuse out of them, that might explain why they didn’t want to hang out over here any more.
“Tasha?” She looked over, and I grinned. “I knew it, that’s why she doesn’t like you any more. You know her secret, so she can’t even look at you without being reminded of it, I bet.”
“Huh! Go to bed, it’s getting late.”
“Okay,” but I couldn’t sleep. Even though she didn’t masturbate again, so soon after, you know. Talking about all that bad stuff. The worst kind of sex, but all I could think about is what kind of man would do that too her, and who I knew that even had a chance. Our mom sure wouldn’t let that happen, if she could stop it, so maybe she’s a little too strict about letting us go off, a lone.
“Blaine?”
“Huh! What?”
“Maybe if you’re there, then he won’t be able to force me. Since you’re older, and taller, you might be able to stop him, even if he’s not too scared of you.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
“So, can you come along to make sure, I’m safe?”
“Okay, yeah. Now.” She yawned, “Shut up, and let me sleep.”
“Okay.” Since I couldn’t I spent all night trying to think of the best way to trap him. Well, first of all, we already have the perfect bait. The dildo, that should definitely get his attention, and thinking about what we might do with it. I don’t know, maybe some lesbo incest fantasy, too.
Boys sure seem to talk about that a lot. Yeah, they joke about it, and laugh, but you know they wouldn’t even come up with a joke like that, if they weren’t thinking about it, all the time. So, call that plan B. If he has any trouble getting it up, probably because that thing is half a foot long, and too big around at the bottom to get my hand around it. I can’t really use both hands without the balls getting in the way, but that wasn’t too much of a problem, holding it too high up.
Too bad there’s no way I can get it, without waking her up. Of course she thought of that, and hid it there, to keep me from getting it out, and trying again, and again, as many time as it takes to get it in, but I have to make do with my fingers. I just can’t be satisfied with that, but at least it’s something. Warm, and hard inside me. They’re just boney, and small, so I need 2 of them, at least. it just pries me open on the side, so I stretch out above, and below it, so i can’t even pretend it’s not my fingers, instead of something else.
I hope he’s not, you know. Making sperms yet. That would be a disaster, because then I could get pregnant, and you think teenage girls getting knocked up is bad? What about when you’re eleven? Too bad, because then i bet I’d fill out a lot more, over that 9 months. With my chest filling up with milk to feed the baby, and I’d just give him up for adoption. I guess, I sure don’t want an abortion, and there’s no way dad would let me do that, murder the baby inside me, and, I don’t think I could, either.
Never mind that, it’s too gross to think about, when i should be thinking about something sexier. And creepy, just not that creepy. “Huh!” Tim. “Yeah,” Tim. “No, not so rough. Uh! Nhm!”
I keep saying no, and I could stop, any time I want, but that doesn’t have to be my fingers. Yeah, he’d want to touch me first, and even if I told him not to, he wouldn’t stop. He’d jam them in there anyway, and wouldn’t care if I even started crying. Screaming, so he’d have to hold my pillow over my face, so i can bite it, and moan all i want. “Mhr, nwh!” Don’t, stop. Please, don’t stop. “SNH!” I need air. “Huh! Hihn!” I feel contractions, but I have to hold my mouth, low enough that I can still breathe through my nose, but he wouldn’t try to, strangle me?
“Snh hn snh hn!”
He’s probably not strong enough, with his little fingers. There’s no way he could get them around my neck, and still squeeze hard enough to choke me, so I can’t scream. “RHM!”
“Tanner, Tanner, Stop!” She shook me, “Wake up, it’s just a nightmare!”
“Hihn!” Even with my eyes wide open, all I can see is her hair, the shadow of it hanging over me, and the white ceiling behind her.
“Oh!” She hugged me, and her bare chest felt so soft. “I’m sorry, I’m so. So sorry. I should have know better. God!” She sniffed, and wiped her eyes. “I should never have told you all that scary stuff.”
“Hihn hihnehahuh!”
“What’s so funny?”
“it wasn’t a nightmare,” I leaned up, to her ear. ‘it was a orgasm.’ I whispered, ‘my first real orgasm. thanks.’
;
Blaine (GGGF Flashback)
“Huh!” I told myself to stop. In between everything else, I wanted to believe, knowing it was a lie.
Look, she’s laughing, and smiling, so I’m not abusing her.
Stop.
You know damned well that she doesn’t know what’s happening, any more than I did, at the time.
She’s horny, too. Look at the cheeks, her lips. Bright red, and swollen, from biting back giggles, and.
Stop.
It felt so gay, I didn’t want to say anything, and I just shook it out of my head, but, I knew that. The whole time, I wanted to say it, out loud.
No, stop. I don’t like it, please don’t. I’m not gay.
I’m not, I’m not gay at all, and I know that’s not just homophobic, because I don’t have any problems with gays, and lesbians, I’m just not one, and I don’t even want to think about.
Stop. stop it, come on. Like you didn’t, think about telling her, the best way to get wet. Because she’s too young to get wet, sucking on that plastic cock so it felt straight, but I couldn’t keep my eyes off of her.
She’s your little sister! Even if it wasn’t incest, to begin with, I’m supposed to be responsible for her. I should probably even cock block for dad, you know that’s what he expects of me, because he can’t be there, but instead I took advantage of her curiosity, and I even made sure she could keep trying while I tried to wash the filthy feeling off, but then I found out just how much I took it too far.
I thought she was, having a bad dream. When I heard her screaming into her pillow, and then found her holding it back with her hand when I got up to shake her wake before mom, and dad came in to ask her what was the matter, but I already knew that I didn’t want them asking her questions. for fear that they’d figure out her answers, and who put those scary thoughts in her head, but then she told me it was so much worse.
She wasn’t having a nightmare, she was wide awake, and masturbating, but what finally got her off. What caused her first orgasm was the thought of Timmy raping her.
“Huh, oh god. No, you don’t want that. Seriously, that’s the last thing you want, especially for your first time, it’ll ruin you sexually for life, believe me.”
“I know, that’s why you have to be there, tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow? No that’s too soon.”
“Well, it’s practically morning all ready, so today. This morning, even. I can’t wait any longer, but he won;t do anything with you there, I swear. I know how he looks at you, but it’s not just creepy, he’s also scared.”
“No.”
“Yes, he is. That’s why he always runs away, but he’s not scared of me. So you have to make sure, you can watch, and come rescue me if I get in trouble, i just have to know.”
“What?”
“What it’s like, to have him inside me.”
“Why does it have to be him though?”
“Because he’s the only one that isn’t, uh! You know, all scared of cooties, and. Girls are gross.”
“I know, but.” I bit my lip.
“What?”
“Nothing?” Girls are gross, but that didn’t stop me, from making her suck my sex juice off of it, and it’s my fault. I made her like this, and it’s also.
“Huh!” I hugged her. “All right, I promise, if you get some sleep. You’ll need it, and if you’re too tired in the morning, then you’ll have to wait, another day. You promise?”
“I can’t promise I’ll fall asleep,” she stretched, and yawned, “But I’ll try, and you’re right. If I’m too tired, I probably won’t enjoy it as much, and it’s not worth it, for my first time.”
“With a boy.”
“Of course, but that doesn’t count.”
“Good.” She doesn’t count that as sex, probably in her childish innocent mind, because I didn’t touch her, and she still couldn’t fit it in. I don’t think. No, of course if she had while I was in the shower, she wouldn’t lie about it. She’d brag about it, and then I could suck it, lick her juice off of.
Stop, Blaine. Just stop.
“Huh!” But when I got back to bed, I couldn’t help reminding myself, of everything she said. Because I sat right there, and heard the same words, coming out of my own mouth.
Only it wasn’t just me, and her, to start. I was just so excited to be invited over. For a sleepover, with Tally. She was so cool, and badass, especially in her black spandex outfit. The glowsticks around the arms, and the belt cinched tight by the Black Widow belt, she made herself.
For Halloween, of course, but then, it got cold, or even colder. It was winter break, then Christmas, and we hung out, for a little while. “Huh!”
She had such nice underwear, and I was so young. So naive that I never thought to ask where she got it. I was just so happy to get invited over, to see her full collection, and play dressup with her, and her little sister.
Then, Dr. Not just any old kind of doctor, but gynecologist, and the box. The shoebox, with 3 cones in it, turned back and forth so they nested together. One pink, and her little sister, she wanted the pink one. It was her favorite, color.
And the smallest, but she was even younger than me, and I was too young to fool around with girls. Sex toys, and sexy underwear. But she giggled, and used a paint brush, to tickle her. Well, not quite, all the way down to her privates. Just the soft smooth little bump, she had up front, just like.
Well, mine looked, when I was Tanner’s age, so just like Tanner’s, when I showed her my pubes, trimmed them down and buzzed myself with the beard trimmer, then shaved to get it nice and smooth. Soft, and hot, and wet, and ready for the flesh tone rubbery shaft, even as my teeth locked open with it down my throat, deep enough to cough up a thick wad like a splat of dick puke.
“Sptooh!” I told myself to stop it, but I told her, “You try it.”
That’s why I couldn’t, stop. I knew it was wrong, and I should have told their mom to stop, when she took me out, and asked me if I liked it? The dilator, you know why it’s called a dilator? Well, keep it, it’s your’s, but don’t tell anyone where you got it.
I wish I could, knowing that’s where her daughters learned all that stuff, and got such sexy underwear. Too sexy for an 8 year old, let alone a 6 year old, like. What’s her name? The little one, with the paintbrush, and the pink little puff to tickle with it.
“Huh!” It’s not even weird, at all for a girl to be so into the color pink. So nobody thought to ask her, what it means to her. It’s just a girl color, the girl color, and leave it at that. it’s not suspicious enough to even think about, why it’s a girl color. hat it means, and why hearts are shaped like that.
She told me that too, when she got me alone. Took me into her room, and showed me her. Old, red, wrinkled flabby shaved privates. I don’t know why that’s why it started feeling gay to me, but tonight.
That wasn’t gay. That was me, sexualising my little sister, again. Telling myself to stop, when I couldn’t even tell her to stop. Stop touching me, no I don’t want to, it’s gross, please don’t make me do that, but I wanted it. I wanted to keep the dildo, the price she payed to shut me up, and now I’m just as guilty as the same thing she did to her daughter, and made her daughter to to her little sister, too!
I’m at least as guilty as Talia., but now I understand why she couldn’t help it. Why she invited me over, and trusted me with her sister, the secret of what they’re doing, because it’s not gay. That’s why it didn’t feel gay, until her mother put on the lab coat, and said it.
“It’s okay, I’m a doctor.’ She lied. “You can trust me.”
Now, I kinda wonder who did it to her, when she was a little girl?
;
Newt Trap (GgBb Tetra Tet)
“What’s that?” She shook her head.
“You remember when we watched Aliens?”
“Yeah, of course.”
“Well, it’s like that. Dryer thingy, Newt fell down, screaming like a dentist drill.”
Then, Timmy pushed right past me, and went right around the corner. “No, don’t.” I grabbed his bookbag. “Damn, man!” Too late.
“What are you two doing back here with that.” He pointed. “I saw it in your purse.”
“So?” The little girl covered her mouth, and shook her head, but her big sister pushed her back. Holding her purse behind her arm, to hide it behind her back. “You’re so proud of yourself, because you saw what you’re supposed to.”
“Wh,” he shook his head, “You tricked me!”
“Of course,” she laughed, sarcastically. “Hey, D.”
“Hey,” I played it cool, then busted out laughing. “Oh, I get it!” I pointed out the end of the alley, where there was this ramp. Only instead of being solid concrete, it was grated in the middle, to let the hot air blow out, from the fan. One of them, like a scroll case fan, only without the scroll case. It just had this grate tilted up so you can’t fall down it, into the basement, and the furnace, I bet. Like that girl in the Aliens movie, Newt.
“Well, you’re still not supposed to have it, at school.”
“So? What are you going to do, tell the principal? I bet you know each other real well, as much time as you spend suspended, and in his office, huh? You think he’ll believe you?” She laughed again.
“Now, don’t scare him off!” Finally, the little girl. I’ma just call her Newt, all right? So then Newt said, “You don’t have to be scared of her, she won’t hurt you, if you behave yourself.”
“I’m not scared of her, what makes you think I’d be scared of a girl?”
“I don’t know, because I saw you, run away scared, whenever she looked at you.”
“Yeah, because I knew she could get me in trouble.”
“I trouble for what, stalking?”
“No? I don’t stalk her.”
“Oh, come on. I’m sure Mr. Pucket is going to believe you, when you tell him you weren’t following us, right out there in front of the bus-driver, and everyone?”
She pointed, and he took a deep breath. “Huh, all right. All right, you got me, I get it. So, now what?”
So, that’s what this was all about, they just wanted revenge, for him creeping on her, and following her. Blaine, i mean. No idea why little Newt, or whatever her name is decided to do all the talking, but I’m out. What am I going to do, stick around, and watch them teasing him for being a boy?
Look, I know boys will be boys. I heard that, but what do you think it means? It’s all right for them to look at girls, follow them, and I don’t know. Probably worse, you’d think, if that was what he kept getting in trouble for, he had to have done more then that, or they’d just tell him to quit it, instead of sending him home, to keep him away from the other girls.
“Don’t look at her, look at me!’ She whined, “For once, just. Stop setting your sights so high, Jesus. You know how far she is out of your league, so.”
“What? So what?”
“So? Why don’t you look at me like that?”
“You’re too young.”
“Hey!” I jumped, but it was just Blaine.”
“Hey, uh.” I straightened up my jacked. “Sup?” They kept arguing, but she let go my sleeve, and leaned in.
“So, you’re not running off, you didn’t go far.”
“Well, i wanted to hear this, but.” I shrugged, “I guess, I can hear about it later.”
She laughed, “What, him lie about it?”
“Yeah, probably.”
“Well, D. I can’t call you D, what’s that short for?”
“Dashiel. Now, I know, that sounds like.”
“What? A black name? Don’t worry, relax.” She rubbed my shoulders. “I’m not going to make fun of your name, Dash. How about Dash?”
“Yeah, you can call me that. It’s not, it’s actually Jewish. My grandaddy, Dash. They called him Dash, he’s Jewish, and Canadian.”
“You nervous, Dash?”
“Nah, not really, I just. Well, what’s your name, Blaine mean?”
“I don’t know, my mom just picked it out of a book of baby names. She got past Blake, I guess. She didn’t want my name to start with an A, that would be too obvious, so she made it about halfway through the Bs, but I like it. Dashiel, that’s a nice name, and it’s not something boring like Dave, or.” She thought, “Donny?”
“Well, I never really liked it. Nobody ever said it sounded black, except the black kids didn’t believe it was my real name, they said. “You tryna sound black, what is it, really. Daniel?” they guessed. Mostly.”
“So, you don’t try to sound black?”
“It ain’t. I mean, it isn’t.” I held up my fingers, “Black, or” quoted them again, “Ebonics. I was just poor, or my mom was, until she got married.”
“Oh, so then. You moved here.”
“Well, to a house, with my stepdaddy, and my half sister Ratoine.”
“Well, that sounds pretty black, or African-American?”
“Well, not really. See, my momma, she Rachael, and my daddy. I mean my stepdaddy, Ratione’s dad.”
“Let me guess, Antoine?” she kept looking back, around the corner. When she heard giggles, so I was afraid to ask.
“Yeah, uh. what they doing?”
“Take a look.”
He shook his head, and spit it out, but looked back, and stopped touching her, between her legs. He let her dress fall down, and then the bell rung, but it looked like she was trying to shove it down his throat.
“Ugh!” I shook my head.
“We better go get to class.” She grabbed my am. “Hold up.” She pulled out a pen, and bit the cap off. Wrote her number on my sleeve, and stuck it back, carefully. “Call me?”
“Yeah, this a cell, or your home phone?” Her little sister pulled her panties up her legs, and her dress back out, over her knees. Then, Timmy ran out, gripping his jock, and probably headded right for the bathroom.
“My cell, so you can text me instead, if you got one?”
“Nah, not yet, but that’s cool, if I call you, yo. Your momma won’t pick up.”
“Nor my dad, but.” She kissed my cheek. “Just call me, okay?”
“Yeah,” you bet I will!
;
Blaine (G Mono.)
“Huh!” Newt trap. It’s funny, but I can’t laugh at it too hard, with all the. “Huh!” Okay, I admit that I’m the one that made her that way, but I better think of something.
Well, I should just stop, and pay attention to class, but Dash. “Huh!” He’s not the boy of my dreams, let alone a man at all, but I better do something, straight.
All right? Maybe it’ll fix what’s wrong with me, and maybe it won’t, but come on. It’s not like that peeping Tim was the only boy that followed me around, or hung out at the bus stop to wait for me to. Well, not get off, like that, you know, but.
Maybe I should go out with one of them, instead? No, not cool, none of them are cool at all, they just laugh, and make cruel crude jokes, so it’s not cool, it’s crude. At least they don’t try so hard to act Gangster, and listen to rap, I hope he doesn’t want me to listen to rap, but he’s not not hot. I guess, I can kinda see him as a little cute, or getting used to that big nose. Maybe he’ll grow into it, and maybe he’ll act.
He surprised me a little, with how he at least tried to talk more properly, for me. He kept correcting himself, and he wasn’t stuttering, nervously. He just said You, then You are, instead of Yo, or whatever. I don’t know? I need a boy, i can trust, and I have to get this, sick incestuous urge out of my system somehow, when how can i face her again after how far I already went, and wanting to go even farther.
Am i gay? No, but I’m sure he has a dick. Even if it isn’t, absurdly oversized, with a normal sized head, just to make it easier to get it in, and I hope she doesn’t get caught with it, but she knows damned well that if she tells where she got it, I’m just going to have to trust her to do the right thing, and make up a good story about.
Finding it in the street? I hope she doesn’t say mom got it for me, because then they’d call mom, and she’s sure going to want to know where I really got it, but maybe that’s not so bad an idea. Honestly, I should tell somebody, about that horrible woman, and all the horrible things she’s doing to her daughters. For all I know their brother two, but he wasn’t there, so I didn’t get to meet him.
“Huh! No.”
“Blaine?”
“Sorry, uh.” I put my hand up, too late. “Uhm, could you repeat the question?”
“It wasn’t a question. Try to pay attention, I’ll start again. This is the Divident, and this is the Divisor.” She tapped on either side of the line, “If the divisor doesn’t go evenly into the dividend, then you have to add another place, here.” She pointed to the decimal place, and the zero. “Divide ten, by the remainder…”
Well, it was out of my hands now, at least until he calls me, but I should have gotten his number just to be sure. It’s just math, why did it have to be math, first thing in the morning. It’s hard enough to think about numbers, decimals, and fractions, this early in the morning even when I don’t have so much to think about, and I’ve gotten a good nights sleep.
“I’m sorry, is this boring you?” I stopped yawning.
“Heauh! No, sorry, I just had a bad night. Bad dreams all night.”
“Well, you’re being disruptive, so.” She went back to her desk, and put the marker down hard enough, that if it was chalk, it would have probably shattered, but she switched off the projector. “Maybe you should go talk to the councilor, and the principal about it.” She wrote a note. “Talk to the principal first, he’ll tell you which councilor to speak to, now get out.”
“Huh, sorry Mrs. Mc,”
“Don’t be sorry, just get going.”
“Huh!” Fine. I can’t help feeling what little punishment it is to get kicked out of class for Math, especially when it’s long division, and converting fractions to decimal.
Honestly, I’d rather have to think about that, then what I should be. “Huh! I have to tell, someone. Before, I. I should probably be in a hospital, I think. I’m insane, that’s it, it’s driving me crazy, and somebody better stop me before I. I can’t stop myself, stop. No her, stop her first. Yeah, somebody should stop her, so those poor girls can get the help they need.”
That gave me the confidence to march right up to the office, and tell him what’s bothering me. I just need to get laid then, and that should, satisfy me?
I can only hope…
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