ftm transman forced at party

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i was born female, but came out as ftm (female to male) transgender when I was 11. i am now 17 and have been on testosterone(T) for 2 years, and had top surgery 3 months ago. when I was 15, about a 2 months after I started T i was at a house party with my friends. i had been drinking a little, and was buzzed when my best friends boyfriends friend, J (who was 17), came over. We weren’t very close but we had chatted some. When ever I drink i always get pretty flirty and bold, which is very different then my normal quiet demeanor. Im bisexual and i had always found J kind of hot, so when we started talking I was flirting some, but after a while he started doing it back to me, he kept touching my leg and we we’re whispering stuff in each others ears. pretty soon he grabbed my hand and we started walking upstairs. I was a virgin and had only ever kissed someone once, so I was getting pretty nervous. he was guiding me along and we tried two door which were locked, then went into a bathroom. I went in first and he came in after me then locked the door. we sat at the edge of the bathtub and started making out. soon he was trying to slip his hands into my pants. I pulled away a little nervous, but with his other hand he pulled me back and forced his hands deeper into my pants till he was grabbing at my clit. I kept trying to pull away, and kept stammering wait, but he just got more aggressive and soon was trying to put his fingers into me. I had never had anything inside me before, and still had my hymen. suddenly he pulled his hand out then pushed me onto the floor. I started crying a little which i never do, and i tried to get onto my feet but he wouldn’t let me. He sat onto of me the wrangled my shirt off. I was left in my binder, then he grabbed scissors from the counter and started cutting my binder off. He started calling me a bitch, and a dumb girl. he successfully cut my binder off and started groping my chest. He then pulled his cock out and started jerking onto of me. he then backed up onto my legs. he unbuttoned my pants and yanked down my pants and boxers then jammed two fingers up into me. he kept jamming them in and out till he broke my hymen. then he started jerking off over my pussy, one hand on his cock, and the other still holding my chest down. i kept crying and punching at his arm. after a minute he came onto of my pussy, shooting his cum all onto of my clit and slit. he took his fingers and used his cum as lub to finger me some more, and rub my clit till i inevitably came. he then got off of me, and i quickly jumped up and started pulling my shirt on and he laughed and said you know you liked it while he walked out. I relocked the door and tried cleaning myself off some, before quickly getting home.
After a while this whole thing started my force and bondage kink, and I’ve actually masturbated a few times thinking about him jerking off over me.