You are going to hate me

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My boyfriend and I moved in together right out of high school we were in love or as much as you can be at 18. But very soon we found out you need money to live on your own. We were working as much as we could just to get by. So we decided I would become a sugar baby to a couple men lots of money and no one would no. So I met the 1st guy at a cheap motel it was nothing like pretty woman. He was as old as my parents not build well or good looking. He was not mean to me or anything but for two hours he used me for his enjoyment. As soon as I got in the car I cried when I got home my bf ask me what all happened I told sex. He wanted details I told him you just think you want to no. But you really don’t want to no what I did with another man so let it go. It got easier after a few times so I added another guy he wanted anal I had never done anal before and didn’t want to. I have now I still don’t like it especially when a guy comes in my ass. Anyway this when on for a few months. Then when my bf and I were having sex doggie style when I wiped my hair around as I looked back at him I ask him to grab my hips hard pull my hair and fuck me hard he only lasted a minute. After he came I started sucking his dick looking up at him. He stopped me told me he I had never done anything like this before. I realize I had just crossed the line and let him no a little of what me and the men do. He was hurt and wanted me to stop having sex with them. But we still needed money to live. So I decided I knew a way to keep money coming. The next day I got condoms they were for my bf and I went off the pill. At 1st my bf said no but came around 3 months later I was pregnant. I am not sure by which one but neither one wanted their family to find out. Unfortunately my bf left before the baby was born but I am doing ok without him.